Thursday, March 27, 2014

Our Trip to Kansas

My Grandma wasn't feeling well on Wednesday morning.  When they took her blood pressure, her heart rate was 30 bpm, which is way too low.  They took her to the hospital and after her heart stopped twice, they decided to put in a pacemaker.  She had surgery Wednesday at 9pm and she was out and doing good within the hour.  Thursday she was ok, but feeling nauseous from the surgery.  I spoke with her but she wasn't her normal self.  Friday and Saturday she seemed to be doing ok, so they sent her to a short term rehabilitation hospital.  I spoke with her again Saturday evening and it was so good to talk to her, but she wasn't feeling well.  Sunday, when Aunt Pat went to see her, her hands and feet were ice cold from not receiving any blood.  They took her back to the hospital and determined that she had a blood infection.  They weren't sure if it was in her kidneys (which were not working properly) or had to do with the surgery.  We got a call Sunday night that she wasn't doing well but they were trying their best.  We talked and decided I would go see her if she wasn't better in the morning.  We prayed, for healing, for just one more day so I could go visit.  However, I got a call at 4am that she had passed away.  It was probably the saddest moment I have ever had in my life.  I still wish she was here, I wish I had seen her one last time, I wish I had heard her say "I love you" one more time, I wish for one last hug.  I miss her all the time, her unconditional love, her way to make me feel better at any moment.  She was by far the most loving person I have ever known and we are a little lost without her. 

Cody didn't want me to drive alone, so we left Tuesday early afternoon when he was done with classes.  Harper didn't nap in the car like we had hoped, but she was good almost the entire way, so we were thankful.  I got a bit carsick so I drove for awhile while Cody did a crossword and took care of Harper. We got in town at 8pm and went to Pat and Don's house to say hi to everyone.  While I caught up with my cousins there, Cody gave Harper a bath.  After an hour or so of just enjoying being together and speaking words of encouragement, we went to Barb's house for bed.  Almost all of my family was able to make it, minus Scott in Arizona, Dayton was in bootcamp in San Antonio, and Cole and Marie couldn't get away from work and school in Pennsylvania.  So almost 70 family members all to celebrate her amazing life.  

Kristen and Brian got there around the same time as us and we all stayed with my Dad at Barb's.  Wednesday morning, we all got up and had a family visitation at the funeral home.  I knew that this day would be harder than the actual funeral, but also just as important.  Somehow even though I knew it was true, I was still praying she wasn't gone.  Kristen and I went together and said goodbye to her, and came to the reality of how lucky we were to have her in our lives.  My grandpa just kept telling us how she was always his girl, always so beautiful.  What a love, 70 years!

After the visitation, we had lunch at Pat's, a nap at Barb's, and then back to Pat's for dinner.  The Bausher's were staying with Pat and her kids and some other cousins were there.  We spent the day getting her picture boards made and writing some things for her funeral.  It was a long day but also a good one.  I can't even explain with words how the Klusman family sticks together when it's needed.  The kids did great while they were there.  Grayson loved having the "big kids" there to play with (2nd cousins) and the "big kids" loved having Taylor and Carleigh there to hang out with.  They ended up entertaining themselves well.  Reese and Harper played or ran around.  They really do love each other but they fight like sisters.  I absolutely love these two!

After Pat's, we went back to Barb's house and just hung out while the kids went to bed.  It was fun to just enjoy being together, to talk and laugh in the midst of the sadness.  My dad played with the kids and riled them up right before bed of course, but they absolutely love their Pop.  Taylor and Carleigh spent an hour taking funny pictures and posting them to snapchat.  It was nice to spend quality time with my family.  The boys were driving up at the time and didn't get in until 3am.  It was a 12 hour drive but they did good.

Thursday, we went to the church and had a family time to visit and say goodbye again.  We received some beautiful flowers from my Dad's work, Kristen's girlfriends, and my mom.  Her funeral was absolutely beautiful and she would have loved her pink roses.  My dad gave the eulogy, as well as having Dane, Jeff, and Michelle speak.  Jamie gave the prayers, and I read the scriptures.  Towards the end of the mass, all of her grandchildren were given a rose to place on her casket and it was truly one of the most heartbreaking and amazing things I have experienced.  To think that all of my cousins love her as much as I do, to know that immense amount of love for one special woman.  We had a lunch back at the church after the cemetery and it was great just to sit and eat with family.  My family took turns sitting and talking with my Grandpa and he loved being with so much family.  We took a huge cousins picture and even got a 2nd cousins picture (minus Harper who was not having it).  We changed clothes and started the long drive home.  We stopped at my grandparent's house to see it one last time and while we were there, Harper wanted one of my Grandma's hanky's.  She played with it for almost an hour on the ride home and I know it would have made Grandma so happy.  It was a long week, but it was a beautiful tribute to the amazing woman that she was.  

After we left, the rest of the family went back to Pat and Don's house for dinner and a relaxing evening.  I'm not sure what they did, but I'm glad they got to spend time together.  Especially Dane and Eric since they had just gotten there and still had to drive home the next day.  My Dad spent a bit more time with his family and they headed home the next day.  I'm so proud to be a part of this family.  They are such an inspiration.  

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